Celebrity Logic Baffles Me.

I get that Britney wants a perfume. And Jessica wants a clothing line. But Bono designing advanced consumer electronics? At least those two nitwits know something about smelling good and dressing well (I assume, at least in the case of Jessica, although Brit is trying, bless her little trashy heart). But now Bono thinks he can revolutionize mobile technology.

How exactly would that work? If he’s following his musical career path the phone would be really cool and interesting at the start, but then become ridiculous and ostentatious as time went on. It would most certainly suffer from “feature-bloat” as have U2′s live shows, going from little local pubs to bizarre spectacles of televised egomaniacal gluttony. And then it would start pretending to be more than a phone. It would want to meet with other devices, espousing personal beliefs and philosophies that no one asked to hear. And while it might be doing good work, the stench of crass commercialism would permeate all its doings. Eventually, you’d realize it’s not the phone you bought initially, or even want to use anymore, since there are other, more groundbreaking devices, and this one just pisses you off when you look at it.

And you’ll go on to something else, but it’ll still be yapping away in your old gadget drawer, in a futile effort to remain relevant, using the guise of humanitarianism to cloak more sinister corporate and political desires. Or something like that.