A Quick Thought On A Saturday Morning

Why the hell does Comedy Central, a network that, by its own admission, is devoted to making me laugh, at its commercial breaks show the longest, most depressing, soul-blackening “starving African child” money-beg adverts?

Think about it. I tuned in because my life is painful and depressing enough. Granted, I’m not an idiot, things could be so much worse, believe me, I know. I’m never ungrateful for what I have, and as I get older, in fact, have become even more aware of how much worse it could be. But on a Saturday morning, when I throw on your channel to watch some funny things, don’t – DON’T – break away from a funny show to tell me the story of “Alex”, whose parents were both killed, and who has to, at the age of twelve, take care of his FOUR younger brothers. DON’T tell me how he fears for the future of his family, and how he often doesn’t eat food for himself, but rather gives it to his younger siblings.

It’s my weekend. If I wanted to feel bad about myself, I’d think of all the time I’ve wasted drinking myself into a stupor and all the missed opportunities I passed up in favor of killing the brain cells the good lord gave me. Show me some damned comedy, COMEDY Central.

Unless you’re planning on changing your name to “Blindside Central”. In which case these choices of commercials will fit in perfectly well with your other planned programming. Which, I assume will include shows about people winning large sums of money only to be told that they will be hunted like animals in order to claim it, and many others.